We’ve all been introduced to the pop-culture eye-bleed that is Awkward Family Photos. Keeping with the fad’s benignly disturbing nature, we turn the focus to something else that’s littering shelves: Awesomely bad book covers.
From computer-generated elf abs to painfully awkward photography, here’s a selection of the best of the worst book covers we could find. Grab the tissues.
Tragic puns and threatening flammables, now there's a good match.
A tagline promising a murderous interspecies infant? Sign us up.
Who would win in a fight: disembodied space baby or murderous cat baby?
We can only assume this is a nonfiction guidebook mapping out a typical day in the life of a Canadian child. (What is she planning to do with that bat?)
Grandma had to make money somehow . . .
WHY IS THIS SO CREEPY!??!?!
All hail the great and mighty cat god. (It's not objectification if the woman is part feline, right?)
Remember the part of the film when Princess Buttercup turns into a mutant half snake with a lopsided noggin? We don't either. But as you wish, William Goldman, as you wish.
Why is the crab using a sword instead of his razor sharp claws?
Essential to a good book cover: blurry white Jesus face pasted on hairy CGI body.
All it takes is glutes and boots. We assume the next scene involves the plucky hero being chopped to bits after the land octopus slices through his unprotected legs.
What we know about the story: There's a computer that manifests generic white dudes and fabulous unicorns.
Christmas has come early, folks. And Santa brought you some computer-generated elf abs.
A science-fiction novel, in which space is apparently not freezing. And what are the magical physics behind his uber-tiny leg?
Never storm the castle without your aviators.
The original Inside Out (2015), perhaps?
WHY DO HIS HANDS HAVE HANDS!??!?!
Everything a growing book cover needs: A keyboard, a chiseled woman in a weird half bra, and an Atari reference.
In the Finnish version of Harry Potter, Dolores Umbridge is a mutant half-goblin, and there are two Harrys. We're thinking the one in front is the evil twin.
We like Dad's pretty eyes. Not sure how we feel about his handgun.
It wouldn't be so bad without the disembodied child head.
We're still working on cool (if only we had such a diverse group of friends who rock wicked-awesome sweaters). But we've moved on to more pressing matters, to be answered in Peterson's other work: "If God Loves me, Why Can't I get My Locker Open?"